Lust for Learning

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Thuan watched while Allison looked over her work on the board. She bit her lip slightly when she was thinking hard, common enough for her during his class. He liked that. In truth he liked looking at those full lips, her black hair, her serious brown eyes, her rounded breasts, the glimpse of a lacy green bra —

He forced his eyes back to her work, ashamed. It had been a long day for him to get distracted like that, stealing a peek down her blouse. She was a college student, half his age.

It was a half hour since the class ended, and the other student had left at least ten minutes ago. No matter. Thuan stilled his mind, tried to get inside her way of thinking. An unavoidably intimate interaction, he’d come to understand. But not one that should lead to thoughts about her body.

Her error was clear enough, of course, but the why: that was always the heart of it. She would remember this, if she could find the mistake herself.

Her expression changed slightly, and she reached for the line that needed fixing. Thuan’s heart quickened.

“Wait,” she said, brow still furrowed. “The integration bounds have an x in them. The variable. I can’t take the derivative that way, can I?”

Inwardly Thuan cheered, though he only let an encouraging smile cross his face, gesturing her to go on. The flow of logic in her brain had been diverted, new channels forming at great speed, smoothing over the pattern of her flawed thinking. Within a few minutes she had sorted out the whole problem, with only a few leading questions from him. Her smile of accomplishment was the thing a teacher lived for.

On his way out to the parking lot, Thuan thought over the interaction. If only he had more time. Smaller classes. Less material to cover, but more depth. Allison was not a very fast student, but she was assiduous, and so were many of her classmates, no matter their shocking lack of preparation.

It was nearly eleven, but a few other vehicles were still scattered across the faculty lot. Thuan had almost forgotten where he parked that morning, but then he saw it, hidden behind that car with its hood up.

“Is everything all right?” he asked as he approached the woman. She seemed to be a little lost staring into the guts of the car. He kept some distance, mindful of the hour and the unconscious worries women were saddled with.

She turned and he realized he knew her. Julie, that was it. She taught in the English department, which after a spate of cost-cutting now shared its printer room with Math and a few others. They’d had a few brief interactions last semester as they picked up materials.

She smiled in recognition, and then pointed tiredly at the car, an old sedan in even worse shape than his.

“Won’t start. Just what I needed tonight,” she said.

“Julie, is it?” Thuan asked.

She nodded, and then frowned as she tried to remember his name. An asymmetry he was used to with Westerners. But that was unfair. She was beautiful and she’d caught his eye immediately. Normally he wasn’t so great with names either.

“Thuan. Thuan Nguyen,” he said. To his pleasure she repeated it nearly perfectly, and returned the small bow he’d given instinctively.

“Well, let’s see if we can jump the battery,” Thuan said. Julie’s weary face lit up with hope as he indicated his car.

She didn’t behave as though she realized how beautiful she was, he thought as he brought the car over. Shocking reddish-orange hair, coming undone from its loose braid. Pale white skin, green eyes. A stunning set of breasts for her small frame. Maybe not huge, but they were bigger than those of any women he’d known intimately. She never wore make-up, and even for a faculty member her attire was sedate, unflattering.

Jumping the car did no good, but all of a sudden he was desperate to impress Julie. Thuan knew little enough about cars, but he’d had to learn a few things caring for his own succession of clunkers.

Luckily he got it going after vigorously wiping the battery terminals with a rag. Julie was thrilled, and seemed about to hug him before something in his expression stopped her. She profusely thanked him, and her smile warmed Thuan as she drove off.

So stupid. He could have been warmed by the feel of her breasts against him, the soft pressure of her body, if only for an instant. But he’d flinched back, the same old cultural awkwardness that had dogged him through his life. She was too damned perceptive to miss that reticence, yet not perceptive enough to realize how much he’d still wanted it.

* * *

Julie Callaghan turned into her apartment parking lot and sat at the wheel for a minute. It was nearly midnight. Another day with no time for the book she was writing. And she was too tired to make a dent in the grading.

She got out to retrieve her rolling luggage, full of papers to grade and materials she had no place on campus to store. Of course she needed some of those things for her classes tomorrow at the other campus.

She’d pendik escort been regretting dropping AAA coverage, and had expected to get home even later. Thank god Thuan had been there. He seemed genuinely nice. In fact, she realized with a pang, that was the kindest interaction she’d had with any faculty in the two semesters she’d been teaching. Not that most of them were rude exactly, but everyone was so busy. Maybe the senior faculty had a bit more time, but then there was that great status chasm that everyone pretended hard not to notice. For the older members of her department it mostly meant looking past an adjunct who probably would be gone soon enough.

She dropped her things in the living room and began to shed her clothes haphazardly. Not like anyone else saw this place: she hardly even felt like she lived here. Spitefully she stepped out of her panties and hurled them at the wall, just missing the lone picture she’d hung up. They fell limply onto the back of the sofa, and the ridiculousness of it all made her feel a bit better.

Julie pranced around naked for a bit, but the feeling of her boobs bouncing around was more annoying than liberating. Shortly she headed to bed, only to lie there in sleepless exhaustion. Not helpful with an 8 AM writing class tomorrow. If it hadn’t been the other campus, she’d have seriously considered sleeping in the car on Mondays. Oh, hi Thuan! No, just settling down to bed here. No problem.

He’d just nod seriously and head off home. Polite, self-effacing. She felt bad that she’d made him uncomfortable — always forgetting that not everyone grew up in a rowdy house with siblings like hers. Her brothers might not understand her career or see eye-to-eye with her on a lot of things, but she could always expect a warm welcome and bone-crushing hugs when she visited.

Well, there was part of the problem. No one to hug. No time to make friends. And a hell of a dry spell when it came to sex. There had always been someone around before she moved: classmates, friends of friends. A few good relationships. She’d had no time to think since moving here, and sex had been pushed out of the mix completely.

She idly ran a finger over a nipple and immediately felt the promise awaken inside her. Well, it would help her sleep for sure. Her senses narrowed and that vast inner realm opened, her nerve endings a conduit to the great emptiness inside her. Not a vacuum, not a cold place, but one of expectancy. It could never be filled, but that wasn’t the point; the rushing flow was what she needed, the feel of it coursing into her. None of her lovers had really understood when she tried to explain, but that was all right. She reached down to stroke the hair between her legs, feeling the slippery warmth spreading. She touched her clit, began to rub herself quickly. Before long the tendril of energy exploded into a blast of heat and light, her pussy contracting and yet expanding impossibly to accept the entire world inside of her.

She came back to herself sweaty, sated enough for the moment. Add to the schedule, she thought drowsily. More masturbating. And find someone nice to fuck.

* * *

Thuan had managed to pack most of his teaching onto Mondays and Wednesdays. It meant very long days, but the rest of the week he could do his preparation and grading while caring for his parents. His father was out of the hospital again but needed nursing care his mother was too frail to provide. It was still expensive to hire someone for the days Thuan couldn’t manage, though his sister sent more than enough money. More than she could really afford, even on her salary. The amount seemed to come with a tinge of guilt despite Thuan’s reasonable arguments about why he should be the caregiver. After all, he was the one right here, the one without other family responsibilities.

His Wednesday night class didn’t end with anyone staying late the way they had on Monday. The students looked as tired as he felt, many of them having been at work all day just like him. If they were mustering the energy to be here, it was his responsibility to give them what he could, little as that was. He’d never been a dynamic lecturer, and it had taken years to develop his own way to manage his classes. He was never a favorite with the students, but they seemed to respect him well enough. They were all so earnest — some young, some older, many of them immigrants like his parents. Like he felt most of the time despite living here since childhood.

Escaping the classroom at a refreshingly early hour, Thuan saw a familiar figure approaching. Of course, she would have the same schedule in the evenings. He hardly had to quicken his step to meet her as they converged in the parking lot.

It quickened his pulse to have someone like that fixing her wonderful smile in his direction. He must be ten years older, plain-looking, someone the women always glanced past. He’d only been with one non-Vietnamese woman, way back in college. In maltepe escort retrospect she’d hurt him pretty badly, mismatched expectations turned bitter when she avoided him afterwards. But he still dreamed of the night sometimes.

Julie was nothing like that girl. A mature adult, for all that she was younger than him. More beautiful, a promise of experience and wisdom. And the way she looked right at him, so forthright and honest. Difficult to meet that gaze with thoughts running the direction they were now.

“Thuan,” she said, “We have to stop meeting like this.” She laughed and Thuan managed a small laugh as well.

“Really, though, I was thinking,” she said. “You always seemed so composed, all those notes so organized. I know they say it gets easier in time, and it’s only my second semester here, but I still feel like I’m drowning. I was wondering if we could do lunch sometime, and I could poke your brain for advice. Time management, prep tricks, that kind of thing.”

Thuan took a minute to process that. Of course. A professional lunch. Odd to ask him, rather than someone teaching classes more like hers, but she was new. Maybe she was nervous about asking advice from the same peers who reviewed her teaching. Every department was different in its culture.

He hesitated. This was a trickier request than she could have known.

“I would be happy to do that,” he said. “I’m sorry to say I’m so busy I have to work right through lunch when I’m on campus at that hour. And the other days I spend mostly at my parents’ house, working and caring for them.” He could see her face start to fall, and rushed to finish. “But I do keep time available in the evening on Fridays. Would dinner be acceptable?”

At this, Julie lit up, so much so that he allowed himself to fantasize that this was more than a professional date.

“That sounds perfect!” she said. “My Fridays are pretty much my least stressed time, so hopefully I’ll actually absorb the things you tell me. Do you like Mexican?”

“Uh, sure,” Thuan said. He ate out pretty rarely these days. Julie gave him the name of a restaurant he hadn’t been to, and they agreed to meet at six o’clock.

“It’s a date then!” Julie said as she smiled and headed to her car. Thuan felt a bit off-balance, and couldn’t help but stare at her butt as she walked off. She was wearing tighter pants than usual. It was an amazing ass, compact, round, just perfect on her body.

He shook his head. Women like her were out of his league. He wasn’t sure he had a league these days. He clamped down on the titanic wave of desire trying to flood him. The effort was not a total success.

* * *

Julie arrived home feeling radically different from Monday night. It was earlier, she was relaxed, and somehow she’d even gotten in a little writing this afternoon. Tuesday had been a total grind, but she’d made a substantial dent in the overdue grading and next week’s class prep. Maybe this wasn’t impossible. If she could be as efficient as Thuan. And taking care of his parents too? He must have immense skills and organizational tricks. She’d seen him with some students once, talking to them as they left a classroom together. He was utterly focused on them, so patient, so serious. They obviously adored him. He was the kind of teacher she wished she was. Hell, he was the kind of person she wished she was. At least she had a date with him Friday.

Huh, she thought. He is good-looking. A beautiful shy smile. Must be a good bit older than me but doesn’t look it. With his reserved manner around her, she’d unconsciously assumed he was taken somehow, and in a way he was, with those family and job responsibilities. But she was being foolish. It was cultural differences, that was all. If he didn’t flirt, if he kept his distance, she shouldn’t read anything into that either way.

She headed up to bed. Oh right, she thought with a smile. There’s one last item on the to-do list. She opened the drawer and pulled out her vibrator and dildo. Tonight she had the energy to do it right.

A half hour later she was writhing on her bed, building to what she knew would be a cataclysmic orgasm. The part of mind that was still noticing the outside world was amused by the impressive wet spot she’d already made, and she felt more dripping out of her as she fucked herself deeply with the dildo. She turned her vibrator up slightly and the colors appeared, the ones that didn’t exist in the real world, conjured into life in front of her throbbing body, narrowing and driving into her with every thrust of the dildo, muffled pulses built of exquisite pleasure and the agony of burning need. Right before orgasm was when her physical body came back to her, every sensation against her hyper-realistic, the squishing sound of the dildo, the scratch of a fingernail around her nipple. Somewhere in between the planes her fantasies could slip in, and she welcomed her lover, his gentle touch overlaying their powerful need, his dick kartal escort pistoning into her with the infuriating patience of a man willing to do anything to give her pleasure. And then she was grabbing her sheets, grunting and thrusting her hips up into him, her pussy grasping madly as her impossible lover gave her the best fucking orgasm of her life.

She finally managed to drop her paraphernalia beside the bed, comfortably falling into satisfied sleep on her messy bed. No question who the lover had been. A nice fantasy. She would have to be cautious with him. But, she thought as she fell asleep, not TOO cautious.

* * *

Thuan had spent a solid hour deciding what to wear for dinner, and eventually settled on the dressiest version of his teaching attire. That’s what they were there for after all, he thought. And it’s not as though the wardrobe offered a lot of other choices.

The restaurant was fancier than he had guessed, but at least he seemed to be dressed fine. He hadn’t wanted to seem too eager, and it was a hair after six. A flash of red hair just inside, and there she was. His mouth dropped despite himself.

She was wearing a simple, low-cut dress of white and green, and her hair was done up carefully. A hint of lipstick just emphasized her orange hair. She was wearing high heels, though she was still a bit shorter than Thuan when she stood up. The top of her bosom was on full display, her full breasts jutting out and impossible not to stare at. They somehow stayed put as she walked to Thuan, an effect he assumed required diabolical magic and fancy underwear.

She must have noticed him staring, but she smiled as she approached.

“Sorry for getting all fancied up. The truth is I don’t have much occasion for it, and I thought it would be fun.”

“You look wonderful,” Thuan managed. He wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. Other men were stealing looks at Julie as they walked to the table she’d reserved.

“You look pretty good too,” Julie said happily.

More confused than ever, Thuan sat across from this dream of a woman and tried to focus on the menu.

“They have a great beer selection here,” she said. “Honestly I only came here once for the bar.”

That had been a disappointing night, Julie thought. A few weeks after she’d moved here, exhausted, lonely, hoping to meet someone, and it was just one after another smarmy asshole. But the beer had been good.

Thuan ordered a beer along with dinner. He didn’t drink much and his genes had cursed him with a minuscule tolerance. But he liked beer enough, and anything to calm his nerves a little.

Slowly his nervousness dissipated. Julie was funny, relaxed, honest, and most importantly she cared so much about teaching. It was there in the way she talked about her students, that mixture of frustration and hope, delight and despair that was so familiar to him. No hint of cynicism or disrespect. He wished he could say the same of all of his colleagues, although he understood the pressures that led them to talk that way.

As the alcohol worked on him, he found himself talking, more than he ever did, telling her of things that had worked, things that hadn’t, fantastically failed experiments, moments of joy. Above all the boring minutia of keeping the class going, the solid foundation of little routines that carved out space for learning.

She was looking at him in a way that he wasn’t used to from a woman. From anyone. He didn’t want dinner to end, and without really paying attention he agreed to a refill on the beer.

He was just finishing the second pint when he found his attention wavering, Julie’s voice excitedly talking, her breasts shaking gently. He wanted to kiss her right there, in that hollow between them. One of her delicate hands rested on the table, and he reached to hold it.

Oh. He was tipsy. Quickly he let go, looking down with shame.

“Sorry, sorry Julie. I’ve drunk too much. No tolerance.”

Julie had noticed Thuan getting more and more animated, but she didn’t mind. He was gorgeous, the way he lit up when he talked about teaching. For all his self-effacement he was obviously brilliant at it. She already had heard a lifetime’s worth of ideas she wanted to steal. And right now he was incredibly embarrassed for no good reason. She’d liked the feel of his hand. Firm. Warm.

She took his hand, and he looked up in surprise.

“It’s fine, Thuan,” she said. “I liked that. I like you. This has been the best evening I’ve had since I moved here.”

The waiter had dropped off the check without him noticing, and Julie paid it, easily sidestepping a mild argument from Thuan. She had invited him, after all.

“So, you’re clearly not OK to drive,” she said as they stood up. “Can I drop you off at home? I could even give you a ride over for your car in the morning if you want.” From the night’s conversation she knew they lived in the same town.

Thuan frowned. “You’re right, unfortunately. I was foolish to have drunk so much. But it’s such trouble for you.”

He was sounding less tipsy, but was clearly unsteady on his feet.

“It’s no problem,” Julie said. “And I’ve enjoyed talking to you so much, I hardly mind having a little more time.”

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